a question to build a dreamer.
how will you know if someone likes you or they are just super mega over friendly???
10111
how will you know if someone likes you or they are just super mega over friendly???
10111
6/19/08
6/3/08
i REALLY neeed to write this down.
sometimes, there are things that you just couldn't help but write down.
and an example of that is this dream of mine. [i just woke up BTW, although its already 11:44 PM]
so usual day for me, went to school got home then i slept. and then it came. those inside the parentheses are my comments.
and an example of that is this dream of mine. [i just woke up BTW, although its already 11:44 PM]
so usual day for me, went to school got home then i slept. and then it came. those inside the parentheses are my comments.
it started like this. we, my friends and i, including her,(and i don't know why she's included) decided to go to CCP complex (and i don't know why either). we went there at around 6 PM and since it was June it was raining that night and it was dark (supposing there wasn't global warming). anyway after that we stayed there for a while, parked the car at some place then walked around (in the rain? haha dont blame me this was a dream). after walking around we went back to school. then we parted ways (my friends and i and her). after saying our goodbyes, we each went their ways and i asked her if she has a car or a ride home and she said yes she has a car. she then immediately asked me if i had a ride home since it was already about 8 or 9 PM. i said i'm commuting via LRT as usual. she then replied the most unexpected thing in the world. "gusto mo hatid kita?" (as if this would really happen). of course i said yes. she said ok but first we must make a stop over at her other house nearby (i don't know why she has 2 houses in this dream. haha). i really dont know why, but when we were going to her "other house" my friends also went with us. and during the trip to her house, in her car, WE HELD HANDS.
anyway, upon reaching her house everyone cleaned up (it's like were in a stupid roadtrip. haha). while we were cleaning up, of course i assisted her and surprisingly (again) she assisted me too. while she was wiping my face, (i wish this part was true, as well as the incoming part. haha) she told me that she was gonna put something in my face (i think it was a lotion or some facial stuff). i said sure, but she must also put the same stuff in her face (i kinda don't trust her. hahaha). well, she said sure but we both must close our eyes. and close our eyes we did and then she put the stuff in her face as well as mine. after a while we wiped down the remains of the stuff (eew) and still with our eyes closed, I KISSED HER (BOOOOOM! climax in your face! hahaha. AND I REALLY WISHED THIS WAS FUCKIN REAL!!!). she was shocked at what i did and then SHE HUGGED ME AS IF SHE WAS APPROVING OF ME KISSING HER (another BOOOOM! for me there. hahahaha. God i really wished this was effin REAL). opening our eyes after, we realized that our friends were watching us during both that superb unexpected moments. but the funny thing is, THEY DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE. haha. as if they expected us to just do that even though "hindi naman kami". anyway after that wonderful spontaneous moment of love surging through my body (or my subconccious mind, for the reality is this was just a dream. huhu) we went out of her house and this time, really parted ways. our friends went home, riding their cars and we she and i, went to her car. i dont know if this has some bearing or symbolic meaning but her car was an old car. just like the ones you see at filipino movies used by FPJ or other action stars get blown up? that was her car. it has no aircon so she drove with the windows down, with the coldness of the evening air gushing through our faces.
staying true to what she said, she brought me home (as if i was the girl. anyway, here comes the thriller part i always have in my dreams. lol). it was around 11PM when we reached my place and upon reaching our street, i saw our car at the street. my parents just arrived. so i asked her to make a detour and drop me just one block away so my parents won't see us. she drove the car around and exited our street. upon exiting, a mmda approached us and told us "ma'am, ser coding po kayo". i was like, "WTF?! it's 11PM and you are still checking around for coding vehicles?" we tried to talk to the officers (yes there were plenty of them, waiting for dinner i assume) but to no avail. we said we'd just pay them, and they we need to pay 800 pesos. being both "kuripot" we argued that we didn't have the money and that we just have 200 pesos. we forced the issue and threw the 200 pesos to them and then she stepped on the gas and started our escape (haha here we go). after a couple of minutes, we reached EDSA (it really is near our place) then i think her car broke down. it was an old one kc dba? so we went on foot, HOLDING HANDS, running together. after running a few meters, we looked back and saw that we were still being pursued so i told her we need to split ways (just like a stupid movie. hahaha) and told her to go "that" way where in she could then ride a bus going back to school then to her real home. when i saw that she were already in the bus, i waved GOODBYE then ran towards the direction of my house. there were still 3 of them running after me. i tried to lose them by hiding in the "hotels" around my place and the last thing i remembered was i shut myself into a cubicle in a comfort room.
END OF DREAM/NIGHTMARE.
well that was my dream. and while writing it down, i realized why some of the things in my dream happened, like the roadtrip stuff. anyway it really is a stupid one, but the ones i wrote down in capital letters, i wish it would come true even though i know that there is only 1/10000 chance that those things would happen for me.
10111
anyway, upon reaching her house everyone cleaned up (it's like were in a stupid roadtrip. haha). while we were cleaning up, of course i assisted her and surprisingly (again) she assisted me too. while she was wiping my face, (i wish this part was true, as well as the incoming part. haha) she told me that she was gonna put something in my face (i think it was a lotion or some facial stuff). i said sure, but she must also put the same stuff in her face (i kinda don't trust her. hahaha). well, she said sure but we both must close our eyes. and close our eyes we did and then she put the stuff in her face as well as mine. after a while we wiped down the remains of the stuff (eew) and still with our eyes closed, I KISSED HER (BOOOOOM! climax in your face! hahaha. AND I REALLY WISHED THIS WAS FUCKIN REAL!!!). she was shocked at what i did and then SHE HUGGED ME AS IF SHE WAS APPROVING OF ME KISSING HER (another BOOOOM! for me there. hahahaha. God i really wished this was effin REAL). opening our eyes after, we realized that our friends were watching us during both that superb unexpected moments. but the funny thing is, THEY DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE. haha. as if they expected us to just do that even though "hindi naman kami". anyway after that wonderful spontaneous moment of love surging through my body (or my subconccious mind, for the reality is this was just a dream. huhu) we went out of her house and this time, really parted ways. our friends went home, riding their cars and we she and i, went to her car. i dont know if this has some bearing or symbolic meaning but her car was an old car. just like the ones you see at filipino movies used by FPJ or other action stars get blown up? that was her car. it has no aircon so she drove with the windows down, with the coldness of the evening air gushing through our faces.
staying true to what she said, she brought me home (as if i was the girl. anyway, here comes the thriller part i always have in my dreams. lol). it was around 11PM when we reached my place and upon reaching our street, i saw our car at the street. my parents just arrived. so i asked her to make a detour and drop me just one block away so my parents won't see us. she drove the car around and exited our street. upon exiting, a mmda approached us and told us "ma'am, ser coding po kayo". i was like, "WTF?! it's 11PM and you are still checking around for coding vehicles?" we tried to talk to the officers (yes there were plenty of them, waiting for dinner i assume) but to no avail. we said we'd just pay them, and they we need to pay 800 pesos. being both "kuripot" we argued that we didn't have the money and that we just have 200 pesos. we forced the issue and threw the 200 pesos to them and then she stepped on the gas and started our escape (haha here we go). after a couple of minutes, we reached EDSA (it really is near our place) then i think her car broke down. it was an old one kc dba? so we went on foot, HOLDING HANDS, running together. after running a few meters, we looked back and saw that we were still being pursued so i told her we need to split ways (just like a stupid movie. hahaha) and told her to go "that" way where in she could then ride a bus going back to school then to her real home. when i saw that she were already in the bus, i waved GOODBYE then ran towards the direction of my house. there were still 3 of them running after me. i tried to lose them by hiding in the "hotels" around my place and the last thing i remembered was i shut myself into a cubicle in a comfort room.
END OF DREAM/NIGHTMARE.
well that was my dream. and while writing it down, i realized why some of the things in my dream happened, like the roadtrip stuff. anyway it really is a stupid one, but the ones i wrote down in capital letters, i wish it would come true even though i know that there is only 1/10000 chance that those things would happen for me.
10111
6/1/08
variable change.
always account for variable change.
that's a line coming from the movie "21". but how could you account for variable change so easily when change comes unexpectedly?
that's a line coming from the movie "21". but how could you account for variable change so easily when change comes unexpectedly?
coming off from summer and the first week of classes, i started to feel a bit confused about things. of course, the thing i was most confused is when i think about her. me. and us. i know for a fact that we will never be. and this is why sometimes, i just wake up in the morning feeling all hyped up telling myself starting now, im gonna forget about her. but how can you forget about her when fate gives you every reason not to? all this things happening to us both makes me crazy. just when you are at that moment, when you are sure of yourself that at last you've got her out of your system, fate and destiny just gives the both of you time to be together. just when you thought that she's never gonna affect you and your feelings again, life just gives you another experience wherein you start to fall for her all over again. i'm pretty sure that compared to what i feel towards her, her feelings for me is so small that it is negligible. i know she'll never see me the way i see her. not in my lifetime. i just want to get out of this room. a room filled with your smiles and pictures. a room filled with the sound of your voice as well as your laughter. a room filled with you.
i just want to be able to account for variable change, and not get too emotional when you are around.
10111
i just want to be able to account for variable change, and not get too emotional when you are around.
10111
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