war of the mind and the heart.

my heart,
the confused one,

does not know what to feel anymore. whenever ur not around, it is contented. whenever i see you, talk to you and laugh with you, it feels so happy. but whenever you leave, and we part ways, there is a sudden change in what it feels. loneliness creeps and embraces my heart. it feels abandoned and it tells me that i should've done more during the time i spent with you. more than just talk and joke around. it is not contented with what happens between us. it bleeds for satisfaction. it calls out for love's warmth to break the cold floor of loneliness. it does not care for right or wrong. it just wants to be happy.

my mind,
the rational one,

gives me the bigger picture. it tells me the realities that coincide with what i feel but it does not give an explanation. it tells me that i should not do anything because it is not the right thing to do. because if i do, i'd cause trouble. if i dare, and step across the line, she'd go away and avoid me for life. it tells my heart to be contented with what is happening. and JUST BE contented. it also tells me that i should just point my attention to other things. to some other girl. but when i look i around and try to find "another", i see no one. emptiness is all around me.

and so as it is, my heart and my mind is in constant anarchy. my body and my soul does not know what to do anymore. who to follow. who to heed. how do you cope up with this?

seeing you is luck,
talking to you is a gift,
being with you is a blessing

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