One of the hardest things a person has to encounter is to be the one looking into the box. Imagine a situation wherein you know the story and you are the one who has the burden of imagining the outcomes of a specific event. Of course I am not talking about math, but real life situations. Although having math in our lives can help us, but that is beside the point. The problem with being the one outside is that you are the one who will definitely get hurt. Yes, this is all about problems of the heart once again. You see, even though you want to be IN the story, you have no other choice but to be OUT of the story and just watch. This is because they, who are inside the box don't feel your presence they're at it. It's similar to watching a movie with you as an audience. Then after watching them sort it out, the one you love will come running towards you with stories of sadness, joy and confusion. It really is difficult to try and comprehend these stories once you're attached to that person. He or she may want to hear your comments, suggestions and opinions but you can only do and say so much. You can't even say everything that's in you head because you are scared that you may offend or hurt that person. Assuming that you love that person so much, then all you can do is try to say only the things that he or she might want to hear. But then again, the dilemma of being a good and responsible "friend" comes into play. You can either pretend to not get hurt and tell them what they want to hear or be the one to break their happy/sad bubble and tell them the ugly truth.
I for one have looked into the box for quite a long time now. I've been both the good and the bad "friend". Almost simultaneously. Today I had conversations with the 2 of the most important girls in my life. We can say that the other is someone very special from the past and the other is the one I really have feelings for in the present. Talking to these women made me realize things that I never would've if I never met them. One of these things that I've realized is that there are different ways wherein you can be attached to a person. And those ways constitute or help how you can relate or talk to them regarding their problems. When you become attached to a person, sometimes you get really comfortable with that person thus you can say everything you want to say to him/her as you watch his/her love story succeed or fall apart. On the other hand, if you get attached to person which you are attracted or a person which you really like, you tend to tell her only the things that they would want to hear. This makes the impression that you support them in whatever they do. But there lies the mistake. The mistake I've made far too many times.
I wish I can say that "If only I can turn back time.." but that's beyond me. I don't regret any of these things I've done. I've decided to do these things based on the different factors of that present moment where I've encountered them. So maybe, just like what I say to them, I just have to make do with what lies before me now. Maybe I'll just continue to watch, lurk behind the shadows and be the "good friend".
Or maybe not.
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